What is a vacation?

So I've just finished another hectic year.
But I haven't really had time to enjoy the end of another school year.
I am now working 9-5 every single day.
And trying to score a sweet internship somewhere
my problem is that I have these big dreams .. well i've always been quite a dreamer
but my overwhelming want and desire for certain things almost scares me away from attempting to apply and attain said dreams
do you know what I mean?
it's almost as though I want something so bad that I'm afraid i'll fuck it up and i'm afraid to take the chance
but i always end up putting myself out there because if I never try i'll never know....